Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Star Trek, the Armageddon of 2009

Note: This is an older item I wrote, but I wanted it up on my blog anyway. So this is all cut and paste, except for this note.

When I saw JJ Abrams Star Trek, I liked it. But, the more I think about it, the more my thoughts about it changed. I realized that I have experienced this sensation before about another movie: Michael Bay's "Armageddon". So, that's what I think of JJ Abrams Star Trek Now. It's the Armageddon of 2009.

My friend Jason Jenkins recently saw the and we had a nice little chat about it. Here are many of the reasons/items which kept me from enjoying the movie fully. I have to point out that my wonderful wife, brought up some of these points too.

1. What Starship Designer decided to have 40 foot tall ceilings in engineering?
"You know what we need? Big ceilings!"
2. Why are there 8 Warp Core's?
3. Why did Kirk and Sulu need to be trained in hand to hand combat? Phasers worked near the drill.
4. Why didn't Kirk and Sulu just get inside the drill and turn it off? Why didn't they get inside the drill and wait for it to be retracted, thus boarding the enemy ship?
5. Where were all of the Vulcan defense systems?
6. How could Spock see Vulcan from Delta Vega? Isn't that in another star system? Also, if there was a black hole, would he see anything at all?
7. If they could beam Kirk, Sulu up while falling from sub orbit, why couldn't Chekov get Spock's mother who fell 10 feet?
8. Why are there only 10000 Vulcans left? We know the Vulcan's have colonies and ships.
9. Where were the Temporal Agents from the 31st Century who prevent people from using time travel to change past events?
10. If a super-nova can threaten the whole galaxy, how big was that star? Why save only Romulus?
11. How would starting a Black Hole near Romulus save it?
"Well it'll suck in the supernova, but now your sun is gone, and your planet too."
12. Also how far away is Vulcan from earth? Wouldn't that Black Hole pose a risk?
13. Why can ships pass through Black Hole's, but planets with solid iron core's are destroyed?
14. Why didn't Pike take command back when they got back to the ship?
15. What exactly did Pike do to deserve a promotion to admiral? "It seemed to me that all he did was get captured and gave away info about starfleet."
16. After his rescue, Pike walked off the transporter? What happened to his legs? Was McCoy his doctor? Did McCoy's treatment cause paralysis?
17. Where was Kirk's Irish Tormentor? Finnegan?
18. Since Sybok was banished from Vulcan before Spock joined Starfleet, is he still alive? (A co-worker asked this)
19. Are Photon Torpedoes really no bigger than people's hands?
20. What is red matter? Is it artificially created? If so, why not load up the ships Photon Torpedoes with this stuff?
21. Was Delta Vega the source of the Cloverfield creature? Did our military not try holding a torch and shouting loudly?

You might be wondering on what I thought Star Trek did right? I enjoyed the characters and chemistry of the cast. The Special effects were good.

I did like this quote from Timbis, Jason found in the comments here:

From Timbis:
"I felt like I went to Disneyland and Micky was a cat, and Donald was a fish, and I was the only one that noticed. And the people that did notice were saying, it's ok just have a good time, it'll be fine. And it WASN'T FINE! It was lame!"

PS: A Trekkie's true power is the ability to spot plot holes.

Edited Questions

1. Shouldn't there be a trial for mutiny?
2. Why during an emergency, did every officer leave the bridge? Uhura still hadn't graduated from Starfleet and was left on the bridge.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Shopping Tips #2

This probably should have been Tip #1. But I'm just listing these as they pop in my head.

When checking out at a register, always look for a young male running the register.

If there are none available go from youngest female to oldest.

Avoid any line where someone has baby clothes and the woman running the register looks like a grandmother. You can instantly add 3 to 4 minutes to your checkout time while they discuss how cute the clothes are.

Now why do you take that young male at the register. Well generally he's just there to work his shift. He wants to just ring up your stuff and get you away from him so he can get to the next person. He's generally not interested in your life, family, items you are purchasing. He probably won't talk to you. The only possible exception to this might be an attractive female coming through the line.

Now this is all grocery shore shopping. These theorems have been developed purely from my experience. I'll have more later. After all, you have different types of stores and shopping.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Shopping Tip #1

When shopping at WalMart on a Saturday, turn your brain off and just cruise through it. Don't rush. Stroll with it.

Given the crowds it is much easier than stressing yourself out by hurrying.